


Sailing ships

by Port_in_a_Storm



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, M/M, Pining, past relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-12 18:32:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7944877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Port_in_a_Storm/pseuds/Port_in_a_Storm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That ship had already sailed; had been sunk by her in fact. Except, through everything, there was always Paddy. And god help her, but she still loved him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sailing ships

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! Another multi-chaptered thingy. Inspired by a little mini-chat with theredandwhitequeen over on tumblr. This is for any fellow Chaddy lovers!

There was a part of her that yearned for the life she had given up. A life where Aaron was happy knowing he was safe with a mother and pseudo-father who loved him. She had been happy as well. And she had stupidly given it up. For what? Carl bloody King.

Then Rhona happened, and Paddy fell in love with a woman who deserved him, and all hope abandoned her. Except it didn’t work out, but then there was Gordon and God forgive her, she thought things could work out with her first love. That didn’t bear thinking about even for a second. And Paddy left when she needed him most; needed someone strong and loyal and protective. 

She had always _needed_ someone. Took her long enough to figure out it was him.

****

‘Paddy!’ 

‘Yes, Paddy! I didn’t know you were coming back!’

Her heart stuttered, flipped and then started beating faster. It was an emotion she didn’t often associate with the quaint vet. Of course she remembered days spent laughing with him, nights spent curled in his arms, tears, tantrums, hatred, love. But that was part and parcel of everything he was. She didn’t expect to feel like _this_ at seeing him again. 

He had come back hoping that things could be sorted with Rhona. Of course he was. No one had thought to tell him that she had moved on. If Chas had thought to talk to her once in a while, if she wasn’t busy with Aaron, then Aaron _and_ Liv, now Belle, she could have told Rhona what an incredible man she was giving up. Chas had written the book on that.

He was a mate now, nothing more. She couldn’t ask him for more; didn’t deserve to ask him for more, after the way she treated him years ago. Except Paddy never held a grudge for long, and once they realised their mutual love for Aaron, it brought them together time and time again. 

‘Pint, Chas,’ Paddy said, suddenly in front of her. 

She shook herself and smiled at him. ‘How’d the song go?’

He gave her an unimpressed look. ‘Turned out it was the wrong _flippin’_ song.’

She couldn’t help herself and chuckled a little. ‘Sorry, sorry,’ she said immediately. ‘That’s—that’s not funny.’

‘No, it isn’t.’ He took a gulp from his pint and rubbed his head. ‘I thought I was gonna come back to… I don’t know... not open arms, but maybe just to her having _missed_ me at least.’

‘Paddy, love, she’s moved on.’

‘Yeah, everyone’s moved on, haven’t they?’ he grunted. ‘Aaron and Robert, Marlon and _Carly_ , I mean who saw _that_ coming?!’

Chas giggled. ‘Oi, our Marlon is quite a catch, you know!’ She gathered her coat around her and folded her arms. ‘She’s moved on, Paddy. Maybe… you should as well?’

‘How can I? The—the woman I _love_ is shacked up with my ex-mistress’s husband! How… _twisted_ is that?’

‘Oh, I don’t know. About as twisted as wanting to shack up with your son’s abuser?’

She hadn’t meant to turn it back to her, and she knew that Paddy would comfort her. That wasn’t what she was after. Honestly. But it felt good to see his eyes soften and felt good to have his hand on her arm.

‘You weren’t to know,’ he said. ‘None of us were.’

‘Yeah, well.’ She cleared her throat. ‘Have you got anywhere to stay?’

He nodded. ‘Yeah. Marlon’s.’ She felt slightly disappointed that she couldn’t offer him the sofa in the pub.

‘Right. Good. I mean I would’ve offered a room here, but what with Charity and Noah, and now Liv as well.’

He laughed and her heart flipped to see him smile. ‘Oh yeah. Aaron told me about her! Sounds like a proper little terror!’

She chuckled. ‘Not as bad as Aaron was at that age, though,’ she said.

‘Yeah, don’t find that hard to believe, actually. That boy was—well.’ They shared a smile that only put-upon parents could share. A smile that she had seen exchanged between Robert and Aaron more than once. He shook his head. ‘Still can’t get over Aaron and Robert, you know,’ he said.

‘Tell me about it! Didn’t think they’d last this long to be honest!’

‘Mmm. Have you hoped they’d break up?’ he asked. 

She surprised herself by shaking her head. ‘No. Never thought I’d say it, but… he’s good for our Aaron.’

He smiled. ‘ _Our Aaron_ ,’ he said softly. 

She wanted to say so much then. Wanted to ask if he ever thought about how things were, when the three of them were living together, when they were something like _happy_. Before she ruined it all. But Marlon walked in, and she didn’t know if she should have been thankful or not that she hadn’t had the chance to say it.

****

She hadn’t slept well that night. Part of her wanted to go to Marlon’s, bang on the door, wake them all up, and then tell Paddy everything she had wanted to say. It took everything she had to stay in the bed. She heard the back door open in the late hours and startled. Part of her wondered if it was Paddy, that maybe like her, he couldn’t keep away. But she heard the low timbre of two male voices, talking quietly, laughing quietly. She felt a surge of jealousy—unwarranted jealousy, and something that she quickly put a stop to. If anyone deserved to be happy, it was her son. She just wished she could have just a tiny iota of that happiness as well.

‘Mum?’ she jumped and looked up to see Aaron in the doorway, a frown and a smile both playing around his mouth. ‘You alright?’

‘Fine, love,’ she said, plastering a smile on her face. ‘Cuppa? Toast?’

‘Any bacon in?’

‘No, I think Robert used the last of it yesterday.’

He rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help the fond smile from blooming on his face at the mention of his boyfriend. ‘Nice to see you smile, sweetheart,’ she said softly.

‘Hm.’ He took a seat as she prepared a cup of tea for him. ‘Hope me and Rob didn’t wake you last night when we got in?’

‘Hm? No, love, no. I was dead to the world.’ Lies. ‘Didn’t know you’d even gone out.’ More lies, and this time Aaron gave her a pointed look. Of course she knew he had gone out. She grinned sheepishly. ‘Here you go.’ 

He nodded in thanks and warmed his hands around the mug, even though it was quite warm in the house. ‘Nice to have Paddy back,’ he said. 

‘Mmm,’ she replied in her best non-committal voice. 

‘I’d have thought _someone_ would have told him about Rhona, though,’ he said. ‘It was right embarrassin’, him goin’ ‘round there, playing the wrong song up at her window.’

‘Yeah, well, he loves her, doesn’t he?’ she sighed. 

‘Mmm. I wonder how far he’ll go to win her back.’ Aaron said. 

Chas shrugged. She didn’t want to talk about this, didn’t want to think about Paddy pining over Rhona, or Paddy loving Rhona enough to pull out all the stops to win her back. Didn’t want to think about Paddy’s crushed face when he realised that there wasn’t a way that he could get her back.

‘You sure you’re alright?’ Aaron said.

‘Me? Yeah, I’m fine.’

He didn’t look convinced, so she sat up a little straighter, smiled a little bigger. She’d put her make up on, do her hair, work the taps and the punters alike, and put Paddy out of her mind. She was used to playing this part.

**Author's Note:**

> Come have a nosy on tumblr!: [Port in a Storm](http://www.portinastorm.tumblr.com)


End file.
